No one told me he’d learn to give me orders!

Roo it’s Alfie here behind the keyboard. I have a complaint to make. When I agreed to a two-legged puppy in the family, no one told me he’d learn to talk. I mean, of course I expected him to start chatting with other humans and stuff, but he’s talking to me! And he’s telling me off just like the older humans sometimes do.

Let me give you an example, and you can see what I mean.

The other day the little cub was snuggled up on the sofa with a bowl of sliced banana. I leaned in to get a better sniff, and he quickly pushed me off shouting ‘Alfie no!’, waving one finger in the air for effect. Then he said ‘Alfie, out!’ and pointed to the door. I heard every word he said, but of course I ignored him, he’s only a little pup, after all, not even two years old and he should learn to respect his elders. But then the old human backed him up and told me to leave the room, and I didn’t dare to ignore the orders any longer. It’s so unfair. The humans promised me a friend to play with and instead I now have to deal with a mini-boss. Not cool.

I suppose the upshot of him talking more is that he also knows how to tell me to fetch, and that’s so cool it completely outweighs being bossed around from time to time. Except, the other day I asked him if we could play and he picked up a rock to throw. It’s gonna take longer than I expected to get this puppy trained to my standards! *waggy tail*.

Speaking of the human puppy’s training, you might remember I mentioned that I’ve been working on my puppy diaries? I want him to read them and learn how a real puppy (me!) trained the older humans in style. I’ve had a lot of fun going through my blog from seven years ago, and I’ve chosen my very best stories to go into the book. For example, did you know I once stopped a family of rat from taking over our flat? It’s all in the book *Waggy tail*.

Here’s the book cover my human helped me make – looks pretty cute, right? The book will go live later this week, and you can sniff it out on Amazon and other online shops soon.